Why.

As per usual, ruminating on what to "do" in life (see last post) quickly became a reality. Two interviews, one acceptance e-mail, and a conference call later, I am a 2010-2011 Indicorps fellow.

So this post will be dedicated to explaining to my friends, family and visitors exactly why I'm choosing to move halfway across the world, and answer some questions that have been coming up a lot in my phone calls.

A few months ago I was sitting on an airplane, going back home from New York. Somewhere between getting a cranberry juice and landing in Tampa, I had an unshakeable urge to move to India. This wasn't new for me -- I had been creating and disbanding plans to move there for more than three years. Other schemes included working for magazines etc. But the breathtaking, ovewhelming feeling on the airplane was telltale: I couldn't ignore this anymore.

So that part was taken care of, I had to go. So now, how? I had succesfully interviewed with a big fashion magazine, passed along some applications for reporting, considered working at a yoga ashram, but for some reason, none of them manifested. Then I happened to get a message from a former Indicorps fellow in my Facebook message box -- I had met him in a tribal village during my Inspire trip last summer. I'm kind of on the fence about seeing signs, but this was definitely one of them. The funny thing is, his message was just a congrats for graduating. I said thanks and then immediately looked for an application.

Deciding to do development/social/service work is a tricky decision. I've heard the best of arguments against going to developing countries to "help". I've considered that helping here in America is of equal value and necessity. I know that long term, sustainable change can not be done in a year. So for the skeptics, yes, I see your point.

But what if the development I'm looking for is internal? I don't want to go to India to teach English so that kids can leave their hometowns and countries and families. I don't want to go so that I can build my resume. I want go to learn how to live as simply as possible, to push myself beyond my comfort zone, and to cultivate skills that span the borders. I want to go so that I'm not scared to be a pair of helping hands. I want to go so that every time I see a documentary about little Indian girls, I no longer have to stay up at night wondering what I can do. I just want to do it, for me.

And now for the career stuff. I want to be a journalist -- that hasn't changed. I have no plans to be a lifelong social worker or aid-er. So where does this fit in? Well, I personally feel that my favorite writers, reporters, journalists etc. have something much greater than a huge stack of clips, and that is perspective. Rather than find perspective from calling hundreds of people from an air-conditioned office, I want to hit the ground running. And maybe this will help my career, or maybe it will look like an odd blip. But as a friend explained to me via Steve Jobs, this year will be one of my "dots" in this huge game of connect the dots. Hopefully in a few years, I will look back and see that the dots are synced. For now, I'm just going to focus on this year ahead.

The Earth is Hiring

I love what I do. And if I don't love what I'm doing, I stop. So right now, I'm at a temporary job, loving it, and looking for the next, more permanent job. The compass spins.

Sometimes, as I scroll through job listings and Web sites, I stop and think: What the heck do I want to do? As a career, as a lifestyle, as a human. Here is what I've come up with:

1. I want to write: I want to write words that are true, words that are pretty, and words that stick.
2. I want to serve: I want everything I do to serve a purpose, to help, to sustain, to resound.
3. I want to be away from a desk and computer when I am not writing: Yeah, barefoot would be nice, too.

It's easy, especially when writing cover letters and tailoring resumes, to forget. But then I read something like this commencement speech from Paul Hawken, and the sun is out again. Here is an excerpt:

When asked if I am pessimistic or optimistic
about the future, my answer is always the same:
If you look at the science about what is
happening on earth and aren't pessimistic, you
don't understand data. But if you meet the people
who are working to restore this earth and the
lives of the poor, and you aren't optimistic, you
haven't got a pulse.